Here's a taste of the style of 'Enlist'. It hasn't been edited yet but let me know if it seems like a fun read to you. That's what I'm after. A fun read. Thanks!
Arlo and Jake Enlist excerpt:
Peering down the neck of the dark brown bottle told me the sad tale; empty. I dropped it into the box next to my chair with its brothers. I reached over Arlo, popped the lid on the cooler and snagged another cold, wet bottle. I found the emergency church key I had on a string attached to the back of the chair and flipped the cap. Ha! Number 7 and got it on the first try!
I dropped the cap into the box and slugged half the ice cold liquid in one draw. The back of my throat burned. A wonderful, brain freezing kind of burn. Ahhh, life if good. I settled the bottle on the chair arm and settled again in the chair. I should get up and take a pee before I fall asleep… or I could enjoy the buzz and the warm breeze first. Hmmm, decisions, decisions.
* * * * *
A white hot poker was being jammed through my ankle with my leg wrapped in electrified barbed razor wire as I jerked awake, screaming like a 500 pound pig in heat. I grabbed my leg, but my hands felt like burning coals with 6 inch spikes. I fell back into the chair waiting for the stroke that had to be coming next. I shook violently and tried to get my scream down to tortured choir boy level. When my eyes started to focus again, I saw a trio of shapely legs standing at the end of my chair.
I managed to bite my lip and silence the embarrassing squeal. I lifted my hat slowly, wondering if this was still part of some demented dream. Nope, the legs were connected to three of the most voluptuous, gorgeous examples of the female form I had ever seen. The one closest was tapping my ankle with the tip of her umbrella. Fresh waves of agony flashed up my leg. I can bite my tongue off or let loose with another sissy boy scream. I’m sure they could hear the scream 40 miles away in Corpus Christi.
“Stop crucifying my foot, you exquisite goddess! Stop, please!” The last word was drawn out and came out sort of bubbly and weak as Aphrodite raised an eyebrow and withdrew her stick of torture. She flipped it up to shade her perfect pink, pixie hairdo. That’s when I noticed her eyes. Well, I tried to notice her eyes. I’m trying, I really am, but getting past the rest of her tanned perfection is taking every ounce of energy I have left.
Her voice snaps my attention past the throat and lips and finally into those incredible emerald green eyes. “Espi plorkum, nute atoony mazeka? Shasha nesta coop, noshertock!” Uh. Huh? I dug my finger into my ear and pulled it back out looking for the play dough that must have lodged there. Nope. Nothing. Then I notice the blonde bombshell nudge The Goddess and point to her earring. OK.
The Goddess looked irritated but tried to discreetly reach up to her ear. She twisted the earring. She coughed discreetly again and lowered her hand. Again she formed those perfect lips but this time I heard, “What crucify? What a wuss!”. She turned to the blonde and raised an eyebrow. The blonde nodded her pony tailed head slightly and stepped back a bit. The Goddess slowly turned back to me lowering her eyebrow slowly, a small smile forming on her… OK, OK so from now on you’ll get it, right? Perfect bods, perfect hair, eyes you can fall into, blah, blah, blah. You’ve got an imagination, use it. Trust me you won’t even be close, but we’re wasting time here. So. “Are you in pain? All I did was tap your foot,” she said expectantly.