The Gates of Hell are slowly closing!

That's right, my friends, it's getting cooler here in North Texas!

It's down to the mid 90s during the day and mid 70s at night!! ;-) For most Texans that is chilly! I'm not kidding. 

During my childhood, growing up near Lubbock in the Panhandle, the average summer day was over 100 during the day and over 80 at night. We had a swamp cooler instead of air conditioning.

For the uninformed (and lucky, I might add ), a swamp cooler is exactly what it sounds like. A box with compressed straw-fabric mats on 4 sides, a water pump inside and a big side-draft fan. The water pump sucks up water from the bottom pan of the box and circulates it up into the top of the pads, where it drizzles back down to the pan. The fan draws air from outside the box, through the water soaked pads where evaporative cooling drops the air temp down 15 to 20 degrees, depending on the air temp outside. That air is forced down into the air ducts that distribute it throughout the house.

Ours sat on the roof of the first floor of our 1 1/2 story farm house. I used to sneak out of my bedroom window on the second floor and sit next to the cooler to enjoy the rumbling sound of the motor and fan belt.

Heaven for me as a young lad was sitting under the vent in my room at night with the cool air flowing over me! Unfortunately, my Dad was a skin-flint and would turn off the fan when he went to bed downstairs, regardless of how hot it was upstairs. With the fan off, the temp upstairs would quickly become too hot to sleep. I still remember trying to sleep with sweat dripping off my back and waking up with the sheets soaking wet.

One of the few things that I've splurged on as an adult is keeping the house comfortable, regardless of the 'suggested temp' I heard on TV. I don't try to keep it 'cold', just comfortable. That's around 74 for us.

Now that I live further south, in Lewisville, it's a little easier to keep cool. One way to keep cool is to go out on my covered patio in the mornings. A fan keeps the air moving nicely. Except for a few weeks in August I can go out there with a glass of iced tea and write until around noon when the fan just isn't enough.

I'm looking forward to getting back out there to write and enjoy the peaceful ambiance. The bubbling sound of the little fountain. The colorful birds who like our birdbath. And of course I like casting dispersions at the stupid squirrels who love to hassle the birds. ;-)

Enjoy the last of the Summer, everyone. 

Try one of my books in your favorite reading spot. There are links on the right. I recommend 'Invasion of the Aquanoids' for my SciFi friends and 'Etchings' if you want a spooky Halloween story!

Don't forget the iced tea!

The Gates of Hades have opened!!

 Yeah, it's a saying here. Usually said while nursing an ice cold glass of sweet tea or a sweating Shiner Bock. We have lots of Texas sayings like that, each passed down from Father to Son, or in my case Daughters, to explain what it's like in the Lone Star State at the moment.

'Don't like the weather? Wait 10 minutes and check it again.' OK, I think every state has that saying, but trust me it makes more sense here. I have actually looked out my front door to see rain pouring down on the lawn and then walked to the back door to see the sun shining brightly.

'Want to see the weather coming from the West, just stand on a dime and look, dummy!' That's a colorful way of saying that Texas is so flat that you can stand on a dime and see forever.

'Might as well. Can't dance, never could sing and it's too muddy to plow.' Usually said when someone asks you if you want to go get a beer and nachos at your favorite bar. Always works, by the way.

'So crooked he has to unscrew his pants at night.' Usually heard during any discussion about, you guessed it, any politician. [Soap Box On] As a quick aside here, I don't think all politicians are bad. They represent the same spectrum of behaviors that all people do. From people you want to have lunch with, to people your aren't sure about, to people you are sure are missing a few cattle from their herd, to verifiable villains. If they are in the last categories we have the ability to kick them to the curb by voting.[Soap Box Off]

'If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can.' OK, this one I only heard recently but I love it! What a colorful way to say someone is honest. I hear my maternal Grandfather's voice when I read this one. He lived to 90 something. He was a mule-riding traveling Baptist preacher. He built his own homes out of sod, made canes from Mesquite branches, smoked a pipe like a chimney and had a 'nip' of whiskey every night before bed. If that ain't a fact, then God's a possum.

Coming up with clever ways to talk about everyday things is a Texas past time. It's a way to insert humor, pathos and homespun philosophy into everyday conversations. It's fun.

Just imagine a rumpled posse of old timers rockin' on the drugstore porch at sundown. Checker boards have been idled as the sun starts to set. Each is whittling toothpicks from tree branches and taking a 'nip' of Wild Turkey, 

'It was hotter'n Satan's armpits today.'

'Sure was. Damn, it's so dry at my place that the catfish are carryin' canteens!' (Imagine an artful patootie off the edge of the porch into the dust.)

'Nice one, Earl.'

'It was so hot on my sidewalk that the rain refused to come down out of the clouds.'

'Well,' Otis takes a quick swig of iced sweet tea, 'my 'tater fields are drier than a popcorn fart. If it don't rain soon I might as well try growin' matches.'

Hank looks at the pile of shavings in front of him and at the tiny twig he's carved. He nods, 'Close enough for government work.' He puts it squarely in a tooth and says, 'Well, it's been more fun than a mashed-potato sandwich, boys, but I'm burning sunshine here. Time to go see if the Missus is going to kick me out of bed for eating crackers.'

And you can take that to the bank.

Less talk and more chalk!

 OK. I'll admit it. It's been a challenge to push 'The Ballad of Bejus Fine' forward for the last few weeks. I had a week long stent in the hospital, suffering from a gall stone and its effect. Dark yellow jaundice skin and eyes and an infection in my 'common bile duct'. Yuck.

I'm doing OK now, but I have to get my gallbladder removed next week along with the removal of the stent they put in to dilate the tubes. Another yuck.

As I'm sure you know, especially if you're over 50, being in the hospital is both amazing and horrible. I didn't sleep for 8 days. Every 4 hours they had to draw blood to check my enzymes, etc. They ended up having to use the pediatric needles to draw sample from the back of hands! My veins rebelled after a while. Not fun.

I have nothing but praise and appreciation for the Nurses, Doctors and staff at the hospital. They had protocols to follow and tried their best to keep me comfortable and safe. The morphine helped a little... ;-)

So, I'm going to try to get past this bout as soon as possible and get back to my WIP, but I have a few more days of doctors, operations and stuff.

I've been keeping my thoughts about the story as an outline in the document so I haven't completely stalled.

Stay safe everyone. I'll be back to writing ASAP!

(credit Bill Watterson for summing up my status with a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon!)